


Something You Can't Replace

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Semi-Canon Compliant, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 17:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: Veronica stared at her. “I may be a bit fuzzy on the details from my introductory psych class, but I’m pretty sure that’s what the dreams meant.”Jane shrugged, unconcerned by the sarcasm dripping from each of Veronica’s words. “That’s also why I’d tell you that dream analysis is crap.”A small smile crossed Veronica’s face before she shook her head and stood, hefting her bag onto her shoulder. “Well if that’s all you have to tell me, I’m not sure I consider this money well spent.”





	Something You Can't Replace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ships_to_sail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ships_to_sail/gifts).



> I just really needed the ending to...well, not be the ending. So I went the cliched route in an attempt to fix it. I've never written for this fandom before so be gentle.
> 
> For Chelsea, for always encouraging me <3
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

_I want to marry Veronica because she’s the toughest human I’ve ever met. Blows that would destroy most people — she always picks herself back up_.

“I could feel the tears prick in my eyes as my heart broke yet again at the voicemail. No one would ever know me like Logan did — no one would ever love me like Logan did. And the knowledge that he was gone forever? I couldn’t do anything but keep driving.”

Jane leaned forward in her seat. “And then what happened?” she asked gently.

Veronica blinked, and shook her head slightly. “And then...I woke up.”

Logan reached out and grabbed Veronica’s hand, running his thumb lightly over her knuckles, skimming over the ring that sat on her left ring finger. “You know that’s fucked up, right?” he asked lightly, and Veronica choked out a laugh before hastily wiping the tears from her cheeks with her free hand.

“Like I needed you to tell me that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Sorry that my subconscious apparently wants you dead.”

“You know Dick told me I should’ve gotten a pre-nup,” Logan mused. “I probably should’ve listened to him and included a clause about what happens to my property if you’re convicted of killing me.”

Veronica laughed again, a real laugh this time, and she leaned over to kiss Logan’s cheek before telling him, “Like they’d ever find your body if I killed you.” She turned back to Jane and smiled apologetically. “Sorry,” she said, “we normally try to leave the sexy talk for the bedroom, but…”

Jane just looked patiently at them both. “We’ll save my questions about your sexy talk for another session,” she said measuredly. “For now I want to talk about the dream still. Have you had many of these dreams since putting Penn Epner behind bars?”

“Technically it was the fine people of Balboa County that put Penn behind bars,” Veronica said, “but no. These dreams…” She trailed off, her expression tightening. “I’ve had them for awhile.”

Logan squeezed her hand and Jane looked at them carefully. “Well, I think we’re almost at our time for the day,” she said after a long moment.

Veronica gave her a look. “Thanks, Doc, I certainly feel very healed.”

Jane ignored her. “Logan, why don’t you pull the car around?” she suggested. “I want to talk with Veronica about scheduling a few one-on-one session.”

“Yeah, babe,” Veronica said cheerfully. “Pull the car around so your therapist can tell me how crazy I actually am while you’re not in earshot.”

Logan half-smiled as he stood, lifting Veronica’s hand to his lips to kiss it before bending and kissing the top of her head for good measure. “Don’t worry, I already knew how crazy you were when I married you.”

“And what does that makes you, exactly?” Veronica asked mildly.

“Crazy for you,” Logan told her, and Veronica rolled her eyes.

“Go,” she ordered, and Logan kissed her head once more before leaving. Veronica looked back at Jane, arching an eyebrow at her. “So, how crazy am I really?”

“We don’t exactly use a scale, Veronica,” Jane said patiently. “I actually just wanted to talk to you for a few more minutes without Logan in the room because I feel like you’ve been holding back with him in here with you.” She leaned forward. “So let me ask again — when the dreams start? Did they start when you got married?” Veronica shook her head. “When you got engaged?”

Again Veronica shook her head, and she sighed before telling her, “They started when I found the ring in Logan’s bag.”

Jane nodded slowly. “Does Logan always die?”

Veronica nodded, looking down at her hands in her lap, twisting her wedding ring almost compulsively. “Yeah,” she said. “Sometimes I dream that he dies while on assignment for the Navy. Sometimes the dream is as simple as him running to the store and getting in a car accident, or shot point blank by a mugger.” She shook her head and gave a short, hollow laugh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I don’t think anything’s wrong with you.”

Veronica laughed again, still without any humor. “Oh, do most of your patients dream about their husband dying in increasingly violent ways?”

Jane shrugged. “Most of my patients have dreams about the things that frighten them,” she said evenly. “And there’s nothing wrong with them either. Everyone processes things in their own way. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think that’s why you’re having these dreams.”

“Am I becoming clairvoyant?” Veronica quipped archly. “I always suspected my sixth sense might one day come in.” Jane didn’t laugh, didn’t so much as crack a smile, and Veronica sighed. “Fine, then why do you think I’m having dreams about my biggest fear over and over and over again?”

“Because you’re avoiding actually processing your biggest fear,” Jane said calmly.

Veronica frowned slightly. “You lost me, Doc.”

“Your biggest fear is not Logan dying, Veronica.”

Veronica stared at her. “I may be a bit fuzzy on the details from my introductory psych class, but I’m pretty sure that’s what the dreams meant.”

Jane shrugged, unconcerned by the sarcasm dripping from each of Veronica’s words. “That’s also why I’d tell you that dream analysis is crap.”

A small smile crossed Veronica’s face before she shook her head and stood, hefting her bag onto her shoulder. “Well if that’s all you have to tell me, I’m not sure I consider this money well spent.”

“Your biggest fear is losing Logan,” Jane told her.

“No shit. Hence the dream.”

“I’m sorry, let me be clearer — your fear is not that Logan will die, because you’ve dealt with enough senseless death that you know people die. You could accept it, rationalize it, if you were in that situation.” Jane’s voice was calm but Veronica seemed frozen to the spot, hung on her every word. “That’s why you keep dreaming it, because you’re prepared for it. You’re ready to deal with it. But what you’re afraid of is that you’ll lose him in some other way. You’re afraid that he’ll find a reason to walk away.”

Veronica shook her head minutely and Jane leaned forward. “It’s also why you’re so focused on ‘old’ Logan. Because ‘old’ Logan had a lot of flaws, but disloyalty was never one of them. ‘Old’ Logan wouldn’t leave you.”

Again Veronica shook her head, clutching the strap of her bag like a lifeline. “But ‘new’ Logan? ‘Therapy Logan’, as you call him?” Jane leveled a look at her. “If he’s no longer as broken as you are, what reason would he possibly have to stay?”

“Because he loves me.”

Veronica tried to sound as firm as possible but her voice still quavered slightly, turning her statement into a question. Jane nodded slowly. “And when are you going to let that be enough of a reason?”

Veronica opened her mouth to respond but no words came out and Jane sat back in her chair, looking almost satisfied. “Like I said, we’re out of time for the week. But I would like to keep meeting with you, if you’d let me. I don’t think you’re crazy, Veronica. But I do think you need help. And I know you’ll never believe it, but that doesn’t make you weak.”

For a moment, it looked like Veronica might try to argue against that, but then she shook her head, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. “You know, it’s a lot harder to dispute that when your badass, Navy Intelligence Officer husband goes to therapy.”

“I thought that might be the case,” Jane said, sounding satisfied. “Call my office, set up an appointment. I look forward to talking with you again soon.”

Veronica shook her head but sighed. “Fine,” she said, tossing a half-hearted wave over her shoulder as she left. She instantly straightened when she got outside and saw Logan perched on the hood of the car, waiting for her. “Now that’s a sight I like to see,” she said, taking her time crossing the parking lot to him. “Now I get why all the douchebags are obsessed with pin-up models.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Logan said with a slow grin. “Matter of fact, take a picture and hang it up in your office and maybe you’ll start getting home from work at a reasonable hour.”

“Mm, I’m not sure the guy who runs off every few weeks to do top secret work for the government really has a leg to stand on with the reasonable work hours,” Veronica said, hopping up onto the car hood next to Logan.

He studied her carefully for a moment. “You all healed?” he asked mildly.

Veronica shrugged. “Jane doesn’t seem to think so.” Silence stretched between them until Veronica sighed. “And as much as it physically pains me to admit it, she may have a point.”

“She is particularly irritating that way.”

Veronica eyed him warily. “I already admitted she had a point. If you’re waiting for me to say you were right, you’re going to be waiting for a long time.”

Logan laughed. “I know better than that,” he said, putting an arm around Veronica’s shoulder and pulling her close, turning to kiss her forehead.

Veronica leaned against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. “Will you still love me if I’m all happy and shiny and whole?”

“No,” Logan said, and Veronica pulled away to glare at him. “Because you’re never going to be happy and shiny. Whole we can work on, but the rest — that’s not Veronica Mars.”

Though Veronica leaned her head back against him, she was still scowling. “You know, I seem to remember someone not taking it well when I pointed out that therapy was turning him into someone else.”

“That’s because you were wrong,” Logan said. “Therapy hasn’t turned me into someone else. It’s just given me...I don’t know, a better grasp on things. More control.”

“You think I need more control?” Veronica asked doubtfully.

“A control freak like you?” Logan asked, and he laughed when Veronica punched him lightly on the shoulder. “I don’t know what you need. Maybe you don’t need anything. Or maybe you just need someone to talk to. But if you’re worried I won’t love you anymore because of therapy, then you really are as crazy as you think.”

He pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her, and Veronica closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest. “I love you, Veronica. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. Ok?”

“Yeah,” Veronica said softly, not opening her eyes, just relishing the feeling of being held, of being here, of being loved. “Yeah, ok.”

For the first time in a long time — for the first time ever, maybe — she almost believed that it really would be enough.


End file.
